Feeling Inadequate SUCKS...

I meet so many people that are gifted, talented and smart beyond their awareness. Most of them don’t even see their gifts!  I believe they are not aware of them for many reasons, but here are just a few of my thoughts...
1. Growing up as a kid they never heard, "Good job!", "You're so good at that!", "Wow, who taught you how to do that?". It's more common for us to hear all the things that we've done wrong and not enough of the things we do that are right.
2. Maybe when they were kids they were picked on for being different, so they chose to be like everyone else to avoid the negative comments.
3. As adults, I just don't believe we spend enough time by our self getting to know who we really are to our core. We are all busy taking care of the kids, spouses, working and making sure we have food on the table.

While taking care of the kids, our spouses and making sure there is food on the table and roofs over our heads is very important, it’s also very important to get to know the YOU you’re with everyday. I’ve never flown in an airplane but I’ve heard that one of the safety rules is that, in case of an emergency, you have to put the air mask on YOUrself before you can help others. That goes for life as well. If we are taking care of everyone else and not taking care of ourselves first, it’s no wonder we feel inadequate.

I remember many years ago, about fifteen years ago, I felt like I had no purpose here on earth. I emailed one of my best friends at the time and was almost crying to him about how I was feeling. He sent me an email back that I have NEVER forgotten. It read,
“Angel, there is a purpose for you on this earth, there is a purpose for all of us on this earth. It’s up to us to find it though…” Then he listed all my siblings, he said, “ There’s
1. Gary
2. Norman
3. April
4. Angel, out of all of your siblings you got the most prestige name of them all…you’ll find your purpose, ANGEL!”

I will never forget that email from him, never!

I actually looked the word angel up in the dictionary, and I got so excited and I have never looked back, never! Now, don’t get me wrong, there are still times when I can feel inadequate, but I bounce back a lot sooner than I used to.

I know the feeling of inadequacy. After failing the ninth grade three times, getting pregnant at the age of eighteen, being on welfare and living in public assistance housing for years did not add to my confidence! I know the feeling of wanting to move forward with my dreams but not feeling like I know enough. Thinking to myself, maybe I need to read another book, or go to another workshop, or think about this a little bit longer…

What I want you to know is that YOU have enough information in you right now to help other people. Stop waiting until you feel smart enough to get that  .com  for your business or setting up your blog and blogging about the things that you are passionate about. You are enough right now! You know enough right now! People want to hear your take on the issue right now! You don’t need to read another book or take another class. As a matter of fact, don’t wait until you feel adequate enough to take control of your life and start making the moves you truly desire. Know deep down inside that the feelings of inadequacy are straight from the pits of hell! The mere fact that you have the idea, the passion, and the dream is a clear indication that it’s your time to make a move!







This is what I want you to know and DO…

1. Write down the things you are good at.

2. After knowing what you’re good at…be yourself, people will LOVE and ADMIRE you for it!

3. Think HAPPY THOUGHTS about YOURself! Stop looking in the mirror saying mean and ugly things about YOURself!

4. Believe in YOUrself!

5. Know that you are MORE than enough!

6. Still feeling inadequate? Remember: it’s a feeling not a fact!

7. And most important, always remember…

Uncommon Woman Habit #1: Eye Contact

 This is us walking down the street, just chatting away, updating our social media statuses, not paying attention to the people, places and things surrounding us. Today, I see so many of us doing this, looking down at our phones just to avoid saying hi, or acknowledging the person passing you. This is such an epidemic. We see it everywhere. I want to challenge you NOT to talk on your phone while in the checkout line at the store and walking in the mall. Don’t look at your phone to avoid people, say hi to them. You will become so UNCOMMON that people will want to help you and bless you. Can you imagine being the cashier while trying to check someone’s items out and they’re busy talking on the phone? That would be kind of challenging, especially if you’re committed to giving customers the exceptional service they deserve. Next time, excuse yourself, step to the side then make or receive your phone call.  

 

What are you willing to do that will create a habit of making eye contact, saying hello and giving a smile? Can you commit to leaving your phone in your purse while in the grocery store, at the dentist, in the mall or walking down the street?

 

 

Uncommon Woman Habit #2: Meditation

 

If you just realized you have a pantry full of cereal but NO milk.  But you want a bowl of cereal so bad. Would you get up and go to the store and get your milk? Probably. Can you get from your house to the store without stopping at any red lights or stop signs? Nope. So don’t run your life like that. If you desire to be an UNCOMMOM woman, you must meditate daily to hear what your spirit is guiding you to do, or not do. Meditation is much like stopping at the red lights and stop signs. With all the gadgets that we have today, cellphones, iPods, television, chain emails (I never open them), conversations with co-workers, kids, husbands, bosses, the lady at the checkout counter—all those voices and noises—we NEED to turn off at some point in the day. Just like you turn your television off, you have to do the same thing with your mind. You do this through meditation. Sitting still. Listening to that still small voice inside your head. That voice that is always whispering sweet nothings in your ear, like, “You can do this.” “I believe in you.” “You were born to do this, so do it.” “Everything will be OK.” The more you shut off the world, the louder and clearer that voice will become in your life. But, it CANNOT happen if you don’t make time each day to BE STILL AND KNOW THAT HE IS GOD! (Psalm 64:10). I prefer to do my meditation in the morning. It’s kind of like getting driving directions to the destination I’m going to before I get into my car. We really want to be guided throughout our day by this still small voice. It’s in stillness that we tap into our authenticity and confidence. We hear straight from the “horses” mouth, God!

 

How many minutes a day do you plan to meditate?

 

 

Don’t be afraid to start off small. Just because your friend and Deepak Chopra meditate hours a day doesn’t mean that has to be your starting point. You don’t want to set yourself up for disappointment, so start small.

 

 

 

 

Uncommon Woman Habit #3: Gratitude

 

Do you understand the fact that you woke up this morning is reason enough to be grateful? Being grateful helps you put life into perspective. Gratitude helps you remember that your time here on earth is precious. When you are grateful for your very own life, the trees are greener, the sky is bluer, the flowers are more radiant and your life begins to look like you’re watching a movie in HD. High Definition! If you don’t live in the house you want, be GRATEFEUL for the one you do live in. If you don’t drive the car you want, be GRATEFUL for the car you do have. If you don’t like the job you’re on, be GRATEFUL that you have a job. If you don’t like your thighs, be grateful that you have the power to re-shape. Being grateful for where you are increases your awareness of the possibilities of creating the life you dream of!

 

For the next 7 days, in the morning before you get out of bed, journal seven things for which you are grateful. In seven days, you will have created a list of 49 things for which you are grateful! That’s exciting! You can print that list out onto a beautiful piece of paper, frame it and place it on your desk. Seeing your GRATITUDE list everyday will help keep your life in perspective. Please send me a picture of your framed GRATITUDE list on your desk and receive a FREE gift! A copy of my book, It’s Not a Secret to Success: 5 Principles to Finding Your Purpose and Creating Success - in e-Book format.

Send photos to AngelRichardson@LifeCoachesRock.com

 

 

 

Uncommon Woman Habit #4: FAITH

 

 

We have more faith in us than we realize. What is faith anyway? Webster describes faith like this, “trust or confidence in a person or thing; a strong conviction, especially a belief in a religion; any system of religious belief; fidelity to one’s promises, sincerity.”

 

So many of us think we need to have a lot of faith to go for our dreams.  No, no, no! All we need is a little faith. Do you believe, even a little bit, that you can create the life you’ve been dreaming about? Then that’s where you start, small. What do you believe you can do, right now? What do you have the faith for right now? Is it sending that email? Making that phone call? Setting up that meeting? Sending a Tweet to connect with someone you admire? What small thing can you do right now, with the belief you are working with in this season of your life? Everything BIG starts SMALL. Everything.

 

You may have a strong belief that you can’t write a book, start a business, find peace within yourself, get your sexy back. Whatever it is for you, wherever you have small faith, in any area of your life, write on a Post-it note an affirmation that declares where you want to be. When you continuously think about a thing, in a positive or a negative way, you’re going to experience it that way. So start thinking about the things you want to experience in your life instead of the things you don’t want to experience. You get what you think about the MOST. I’m not saying it’s possible to clear your mind and never have to deal with a negative thought ever again. No way.  But what I am saying is that if MOST of your thoughts are negative you’re going to create a lot of negative things in your life. Your negative thinking will create a fog around your belief system and have you thinking you cannot have whatever it is your little heart desires.

 

Example: If your feelings and thoughts are things like, “I wish I had more time to do the things I love.” Your Post-it might say, “I have more than enough time in my life to do the things I am most passionate about.”

What this does is increases your faith and moves your belief system in the right direction. This will help you see that you have the power to create anything you want in your life.

 

It can be so easy to look at other people and say, “WOW, if I had more faith in myself I would do more with my life.” Here’s the thing, you have too much faith in the belief that if you had more faith you would do more with your life.  Why not try this, act on what faith you DO have. Start where you are. And your FAITH and belief in yourself will grow.  Faith can go in any direction we want it to go. We can use it to work for us or against us.

 

What area of your life will you choose to use your faith?

 

 

 

Uncommon Woman Habit #5: CLARITY

Does this sound like the conversation in your head? It is for all of us.
This is why meditation and being still are so necessary, so we can be guided from the inside out. Do you often think to yourself, “If I knew what to do I would do it.” We all want to know we’re making the right decisions. But nothing gives us more clarity than taking action.

 

Here are three tips to help you gain more clarity:

Tip #1. Always follow peace from within. Think about your options and choose according to the peace that comes over your body. You know those “goose bumps,” yeah, I call them “God bumps,” God’s way of allowing us to FEEL His presence. Do you feel it right now? I did!

Tip #2. Make sure your actions are in alignment with where you see yourself. If you see yourself paying all your bills on time, but you’re at the mall shopping with your light bill money, you’re going in the wrong direction. No worries, you can turn it around RIGHT NOW and head in the right direction!

Tip #3. Or if you’re a rebel, write your options down on little pieces of paper, put them in a hat, shake it up and PICK ONE!

 

Uncommon Woman Habit #6: EXPECTANCY

 

Get excited about your life coming together! Do you remember when you were a kid and it was Christmastime and you were EXPECTING  that gift that you asked for? Maybe it was Barbie—it was for me—and you knew it was on its way. So you happily waited for your present. You were EXPECTING it to be under the tree! Well, the same is true for your dreams.  You have to EXPECT them to be on their way. When you are expecting something, you look out for it. So if you are expecting good things to come into your life, you’re going to be looking for the good things. Bring back your childlike faith and start expecting great people and things to come into your life!

 

Go ahead, take five minutes to dream about your wonderful life! Create  EXPECTANCY in your heart because great things are coming!

 

What great thing(s) are you expecting to come into your life?

 

 

 

 

Uncommon Woman Habit #7: ACTION

 

Take ACTION! Even if it’s “imperfect” action. Imperfect action beats no action any day of the week! Oftentimes we sit around and wait for the “perfect” opportunity and conditions to take action. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but there are no PERFECT conditions. You have to CREATE them! Understand this, the moment you take action is the perfect time, the prefect opportunity and the perfect conditions. When you take action in the direction of your dreams, it’s like the universe aligns with you and starts to drop the right people, places, things and ideas right in you lap. Every little action that you take creates a snowball effect. You’ll get the clarity and courage to take another step, then another one, and another! What I’m about to say might sound extreme, but this is an exercise that I use to push me into action: I LITERALLY think about being on my deathbed, going over my entire life in my head. I imagine all the things I would regret not doing, and I get busy in some shape or form doing them!

 

What five actions might you take in the direction of your dreams?